click.

God has been doing so much in my heart lately and I am learning so much about viewing God, myself and the world through the lens of the gospel. And it's clicking..finally haha. A little bit that is.. This was so cool to learn today: (Most of this post you are going to say duh, Brittni. how did you not get that?? But it just really hit my heart today like whoa.)

The gospel: Christ was our substitute, he died on the cross so that we may be seen as perfect. He lived the life we should have lived(a perfect one) and died the death we should have died(the death of sinners). Ok, but I'm starting to realize that I am not viewing EVERYTHING through the light of the gospel..and I should. Some time ago, someone said to me..every issue is a gospel issue. I believe this is true, and I said I believed it but I don't think I really really did.

Viewing prayer in light of the gospel: How do we know that God hears our prayer? Well, I've always just claimed scripture for this question (Jer. 29:12,13..etc.), but viewing this in light of the gospel makes SO MUCH SENSE! We know that God will answer our prayer in the same way that we know we are perfect before the Lord through the gospel. On one terrible day, God did not answer Jesus when Jesus called to God; He was forsaken (Matthew 27:46). Jesus was our substitute. We are the ones who deserve to be forsaken and to have our prayers rejected. Why? How could we call upon a righteous God as ones so flawed? We can't...without Christ. God is just in this. 2 Corinthians 5:21--Without Christ, God's righteousness would guarantee that He not hear our prayers. With Christ, God's righteousness guarantees that He will!!

This is why petition (asking God of things in our life) unburdens our heart-when combined with the gospel. We know God hears our prayer and He will answer according to His will (which may or may not allign with ours at the time). Thats why when Jesus teaches us to pray it starts with "Our Father." God is our FATHER, only because of the gospel. We come to Him as his CHILD, his loved children, adopted to His family..How can you not love this??? It is amazing. So amazing.

And so it clicked. Finally. And all it is is the gospel, the thing that I think I know and understand but yet keep learning soooo much about daily.

mess-ups..they happen...

I did it. Messed up in my new job. It was bound to happen, but I definitely didn't think it would. I took action in something in which I should have asked someone above me first. I went ahead and did it on my own, but had no idea that I shouldn't have done it. Now I know. I'm not gonna say what I did because it's not important; what's important is what I learned and how I know the Lord better through that situation. Some inserts from my journal:

I can always feel it BIG TIME when I am let down by others and when other people disappoint me but I must remember that I am no different than they are. I have the full capability of letting people down and messing up. I am not perfect, nor will I ever be...

But my sorrow is worldly. Today I wasn't upset because I didn't do my best to glorify God, I was upset because I have to own up to my mistake...I'm too worried about what people will think of me rather than having sorrow that I have let down God above all things...

But with all of that said, there is grace. I was given SO much grace in the situation and I am so grateful that although I am imperfect, Jesus sees me as righteous and perfect and he loves me all the more.

And here are some thoughts from someone way wiser than me. I am reading a book called Practice the Presence of God (a GREAT read) and it is the letters and conversations of a monk named Brother Lawrence about enjoying God in all things. Here are some things I learned that related to my situation:

That when he had failed in his duty, he only confessed his fault, saying to God, I shall never change, if You leave me to myself; It is You who must prevent my falling and change my faults. Then he didn't worry about it anymore.

That he had no concern; for, said he, when I fail in my duty, I readily acknowledge it, saying, I am used to doing so: I shall never do otherwise, if I am left to myself. If I don't fail, then I give God thanks, acknowledging that it comes from Him.

These can be related to many different situations but in mine I just remember that I am capable of failing, letting others down because I am a sinner, I'm not perfect. And only God can help me and sanctify me, I shall always fail without God. I pray that I may glorify Him well in ALL that I do, but only with the help of Him am I able to come even close to doing so.