I think one of the biggest and hardest things for me is the struggle between my head and my heart. My head knows truth and is rooted in the Word and what God says is good and best...but my heart is always typically 5 steps behind, struggling to catch up. What I mean by this is when I am in a rough season of life, my head tells me that God is teaching me something, that He knows what is absolutely best for me and that I am walking in God's will yet my heart doesn't always feel it. I still feel sad to not be around my best friends, my A-team, the people who know me, I feel worried that I didn't make the right decision about where to go after college and what to do. I think I think these things because I base them off of my feelings..I feel unhappy and so I think: this cant be right. When in fact, I KNOW it is. I know that this is EXACTLY where God wants me and I shouldn't have any doubt (I will tell this story later because it is VERY clear!). So there ya go..I CANNOT conquer this (which is why I need Jesus)..it is a daily struggle and it may be a lifetime struggle but I pray everyday that God would continually change my heart. With that said here is my current Head vs. Heart struggle: Books.
Books you ask? How is that a Head vs Heart struggle? Well, I have come to love reading, especially adolescent literature (some of my best friends are middle school/high school english teachers) recently and it is GREAT. So great that I am distracted from the Word and spending time with the Lord! So is reading secular books bad? HECK NO!! I love it and I believe in secular books you can find the gospel, redemption, and alot of things that root back to God and his plan. Now keep in mind, "all things are permissible but not all is beneficial" (1 Cor 10:23) so know yourself when you choose what to read aka don't read things that will cause you to stumble.
But I challenge you and me with this: Open up the Word of God before you open up the word of man. I am not writing this because I do it well, Im actually writing this because I am convicted right now of not turning to the Lord and putting fictional stories above Him. See? my head is totally there because I know it's sin, but my heart is excited to see what comes next in my books. But now I am ready to fight it with the help of the Lord and the self-control I am praying He will give me! I am thankful that I am realizing my sin and praying that I will turn to the Lord! God's word is not like a book or magazine because it isnt just filled with words and ink...Its filled with the Holy Spirit. I pray everyday this week as I read my new favorite series of books I will always go to the Lord first, seek Him in everything I do and be filled with His Spirit.
Here's the series I just finished: The Hunger Games. A three book series consisting of The Hunger Games, Catching Fire, and The MockingJay. These are GREAT books. I was hooked by the second chapter of the first book (and they are short chapters). I recommend them for any girl or guy!
