JFJ. Three letters=three words. Funny thing is...only six girls know what JFJ stands for (7 including Kate's mom.) So what is JFJ? JFJ is a group of six girls. A group of six girls that I hold dear to my heart. Six girls who shared their lives together and followed each other while we all struggled to follow Jesus. This is what JFJ means to me:
Abbye-I have learned sooooo much from Abbye, her humility and her love for others. She fights for others to know Jesus and has a HUGE heart. From Abbye, I've learned that as a leader of others we must be the "lead-repenter", showing our imperfections but also showing that we bring them before the Lord as he sees us as flawless. She is amazing at reading people, knowing them and meeting their needs. She truly is a servant at heart!
Amy- my roommate, my friend, the person I love to sing in the car with! Amy loves it when I have one small piece of hair hanging in front of my face, she notices the small things and I love her for it. She is so gentle and so kind and so genuine. She is also one of the most encouraging people I know! She challenges me with thought-provoking questions and I really just enjoy spending time doing nothing with her!
Ashton- Ashton is tough love! We've both agreed. Philippians 4:2,3-that's the relationship Ash and I had. We had to agree with one another in the Lord, because we just don't always agree with each other and we used to never get along. But now I can say that she is one of my very best friends. Through her tough love she pushes me to know Christ in all things. She helps me remember my freedom in Christ when my mind seems to be so legalistic sometimes. It makes for alot of fun and alot of laughs!
Bekah- I have always looked up to Bekah, she is so beautiful and so wise! We always had a surfacy friendship until JFJ and now I love her more than anything! She is really great at grounded me and seeing through my emotions, allowing me to think rationally. She always wants to hear how I am doing and about my life which shows me how much she truly cares about me. She always asks great questions about theology and more. I feel like we relate in how we see the gospel..and how we don't see and understand it all the time but yearn to all the more.
Kate- the one who always reminds me that being emotional is ok. If it weren't for Kate I wouldn't have made it! I am an emotional person and Kate and I are very similar in that way. We definitely need others to help us think through our emotions and not let them rule us but I am so thankful that Kate was always real with us and was never afraid to tell us how she was feeling. She always has so much insight and such a loving heart.
So what does JFJ mean to me? Knowing more of Christ through living life together with these 5 girls. What it stands for...readers you may never know. But if you have a chance, share your life with the people around you, don't be afraid to go deep, don't be afraid to mess up. Cling to Jesus and follow Him. I love these girls and miss them so much! They will never know how much I learned from them!
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
caution: fears may lead to extreme action
So for the past week I have been in Florida working a lacrosse camp at Stetson University. The camp was fun but it's over now. It ended at 12:00pm but my flight doesn't leave until tomorrow so I had to get a hotel room...by myself...for the first time.... I guess this is something I need to get used to since I am going to be going on recruiting trips and will have to stay places by myself. But this was a first for me. So I was scared...of course. Me and my irrational fears aka my terrible imagination!! So my night has consisted of this:
4:15 pm--Walked next door to Denny's (also a first for me). I tried to get an early dinner so that I could get back to the hotel as fast as I could and lock myself in.
9:00 pm rolls around and I want to go on a jog (probably because I feel like this week all I have done is eat and watch other people run around playing lacrosse) but sure as heck I am not going outside. Because Im afraid to run alone. So I have a great idea to go jogging in my hotel room. So I did for 45 minutes straight. I ran from sink to door, door to sink, sink to door, door to sink. I think the weirdest part was that everytime I ran toward the sink I was also running toward the mirror which was funny because half of my run was me watching myself run...haha. I was able to take 8 steps in each direction. But by the end, I counted and I was taking 10 steps each way which means I must have slowed my pace. I also definitely built up a sweat! haha!
I am very thankful for the rules at the Leadership Project (you must be accompanied by a boy after dark), because I could have used a partner tonight. Running back and forth over and over and over really made me wonder why in the world I thought it was a good idea, but hey-makes for a good story I guess!! haha.
Ps. Also this week, I was playing lacrosse with the counselors and was playing defense when my girl missed the pass so it came through her and hit me right in the throat! Totally caught me off guard! Right in the jugular!! First, it hurt. Second, it was sooo weird to have a swollen neck the next day. Third, that would happen! Lol.
4:15 pm--Walked next door to Denny's (also a first for me). I tried to get an early dinner so that I could get back to the hotel as fast as I could and lock myself in.
9:00 pm rolls around and I want to go on a jog (probably because I feel like this week all I have done is eat and watch other people run around playing lacrosse) but sure as heck I am not going outside. Because Im afraid to run alone. So I have a great idea to go jogging in my hotel room. So I did for 45 minutes straight. I ran from sink to door, door to sink, sink to door, door to sink. I think the weirdest part was that everytime I ran toward the sink I was also running toward the mirror which was funny because half of my run was me watching myself run...haha. I was able to take 8 steps in each direction. But by the end, I counted and I was taking 10 steps each way which means I must have slowed my pace. I also definitely built up a sweat! haha!
I am very thankful for the rules at the Leadership Project (you must be accompanied by a boy after dark), because I could have used a partner tonight. Running back and forth over and over and over really made me wonder why in the world I thought it was a good idea, but hey-makes for a good story I guess!! haha.
Ps. Also this week, I was playing lacrosse with the counselors and was playing defense when my girl missed the pass so it came through her and hit me right in the throat! Totally caught me off guard! Right in the jugular!! First, it hurt. Second, it was sooo weird to have a swollen neck the next day. Third, that would happen! Lol.
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
my "for real" look
Need an update on my transition into Shorter University? There's a whole article about it!
http://goshorterhawks.com/sports/w-lacros/2009-10/releases/070810dulaney
Shorter really is amazing, I don't know of another place that would be able to write an article like that with me talking about my relationship with the Lord. I'm not gonna lie though, some of the info is wrong! I was a two year academic all-american in high school not at Pc!! And only a two year most valuable offensive player in college!
Ps. Funny story, the picture of me in "my office" is actually a picture of me at Coach Warner's desk (we had to hide the pictures of his children). I was pretend typing while the screen was on lock and it beeped SO LOUD, I couldnt help but laugh...so we had to take a million pics to try to get me to look "for real" instead of laughing the whole time!
http://goshorterhawks.com/sports/w-lacros/2009-10/releases/070810dulaney
Shorter really is amazing, I don't know of another place that would be able to write an article like that with me talking about my relationship with the Lord. I'm not gonna lie though, some of the info is wrong! I was a two year academic all-american in high school not at Pc!! And only a two year most valuable offensive player in college!
Ps. Funny story, the picture of me in "my office" is actually a picture of me at Coach Warner's desk (we had to hide the pictures of his children). I was pretend typing while the screen was on lock and it beeped SO LOUD, I couldnt help but laugh...so we had to take a million pics to try to get me to look "for real" instead of laughing the whole time!
Friday, July 9, 2010
mess-ups..they happen...
I did it. Messed up in my new job. It was bound to happen, but I definitely didn't think it would. I took action in something in which I should have asked someone above me first. I went ahead and did it on my own, but had no idea that I shouldn't have done it. Now I know. I'm not gonna say what I did because it's not important; what's important is what I learned and how I know the Lord better through that situation. Some inserts from my journal:
I can always feel it BIG TIME when I am let down by others and when other people disappoint me but I must remember that I am no different than they are. I have the full capability of letting people down and messing up. I am not perfect, nor will I ever be...
But my sorrow is worldly. Today I wasn't upset because I didn't do my best to glorify God, I was upset because I have to own up to my mistake...I'm too worried about what people will think of me rather than having sorrow that I have let down God above all things...
But with all of that said, there is grace. I was given SO much grace in the situation and I am so grateful that although I am imperfect, Jesus sees me as righteous and perfect and he loves me all the more.
And here are some thoughts from someone way wiser than me. I am reading a book called Practice the Presence of God (a GREAT read) and it is the letters and conversations of a monk named Brother Lawrence about enjoying God in all things. Here are some things I learned that related to my situation:
That when he had failed in his duty, he only confessed his fault, saying to God, I shall never change, if You leave me to myself; It is You who must prevent my falling and change my faults. Then he didn't worry about it anymore.
That he had no concern; for, said he, when I fail in my duty, I readily acknowledge it, saying, I am used to doing so: I shall never do otherwise, if I am left to myself. If I don't fail, then I give God thanks, acknowledging that it comes from Him.
These can be related to many different situations but in mine I just remember that I am capable of failing, letting others down because I am a sinner, I'm not perfect. And only God can help me and sanctify me, I shall always fail without God. I pray that I may glorify Him well in ALL that I do, but only with the help of Him am I able to come even close to doing so.
I can always feel it BIG TIME when I am let down by others and when other people disappoint me but I must remember that I am no different than they are. I have the full capability of letting people down and messing up. I am not perfect, nor will I ever be...
But my sorrow is worldly. Today I wasn't upset because I didn't do my best to glorify God, I was upset because I have to own up to my mistake...I'm too worried about what people will think of me rather than having sorrow that I have let down God above all things...
But with all of that said, there is grace. I was given SO much grace in the situation and I am so grateful that although I am imperfect, Jesus sees me as righteous and perfect and he loves me all the more.
And here are some thoughts from someone way wiser than me. I am reading a book called Practice the Presence of God (a GREAT read) and it is the letters and conversations of a monk named Brother Lawrence about enjoying God in all things. Here are some things I learned that related to my situation:
That when he had failed in his duty, he only confessed his fault, saying to God, I shall never change, if You leave me to myself; It is You who must prevent my falling and change my faults. Then he didn't worry about it anymore.
That he had no concern; for, said he, when I fail in my duty, I readily acknowledge it, saying, I am used to doing so: I shall never do otherwise, if I am left to myself. If I don't fail, then I give God thanks, acknowledging that it comes from Him.
These can be related to many different situations but in mine I just remember that I am capable of failing, letting others down because I am a sinner, I'm not perfect. And only God can help me and sanctify me, I shall always fail without God. I pray that I may glorify Him well in ALL that I do, but only with the help of Him am I able to come even close to doing so.
Sunday, July 4, 2010
4 fun memories of the 4th
Happy fourth of July! Every 4th of July I have been in VERY different places and experienced funny things for some reason each place: we'll start four years ago:
July 4th, 2007--I was in the back of Andrew Hawkins' pickup truck with Becca Hayter, Mitchell King, and others from the Leadership Project in Myrtle Beach. We were headed to the beach to watch fireworks when all of the sudden we were REAR-ENDED!! Keep in mind we are in a pickup truck so we look at the driver and he just looks at us and shrugs holding his hands up as if to say- "I have no idea what just happened"--we just laughed and continued to the beach for the fun.
July 4th,2008--In South Africa with Campus Outreach. What a cool place to celebrate the 4th of July! I skyped my mom to tell her to have a great day and this was how the conversation went:
Me: Happy 4th of July Mom!!
Mom: Happy 4th to you too Brittni! Do they do anything special in South Africa to celebrate the 4th??
Me: Mom...the 4th of July isn't celebrated here...it's independence day for America...
All of my friends(I remember specifically Ashton and Brinck): Wow...now we see where Brittni gets everythingggg... haha!
July 4th, 2009--Again in Myrtle Beach, Lauren Snyder and I wanted to share who Jesus is with someone on the beach. I've talked to alot of people about jesus but I have never EVER had an experience like this before. There is a woman sitting by herself and we decide to talk to her. This is how it goes:
Us: Hey how are you!?
Woman: WHAT DO YOU WANT?
US: Oh, Sorry no, we are actually with a Christian group and we were just hoping to share with you something we have been learning.
Woman: Oh, ok, I guess..
So anyway, the conversation went on and on and on. But it got weird. We asked her what she thought about sin and she said: "Oh, I KNOWWW what sin is! You don't even wanna know how I sin...Oh boy, you would be in for a treat!" And we were like...oh boy..no no we dont have to hear specifics. But then her husband walked up and it was like a light switch as if they were putting on a show: She went from being what seemed like the roughest hooligan who sinned constantly to an angel!!
Woman: Oh yes, the Lord is so good, and its so great what you girls are doing. You guys need to keep going all over the world talking about this, because we definitely do!
---I can't give justice to this conversation but it was by far a strange experience, I just don't have enough time to tell you all about it.
July 4th, 2010--In a new place, with new people, and new experiences. Went to a new church to try it out, went to lunch with a couple of girls I've just met, and now am at the pool with my family. Later, I will probably head to see some fireworks with some friends (friends that I am just now getting to know). I'm praying that God will continue to grow these friendships, and continue to provide in the ways he knows I need.
July 4th, 2007--I was in the back of Andrew Hawkins' pickup truck with Becca Hayter, Mitchell King, and others from the Leadership Project in Myrtle Beach. We were headed to the beach to watch fireworks when all of the sudden we were REAR-ENDED!! Keep in mind we are in a pickup truck so we look at the driver and he just looks at us and shrugs holding his hands up as if to say- "I have no idea what just happened"--we just laughed and continued to the beach for the fun.
July 4th,2008--In South Africa with Campus Outreach. What a cool place to celebrate the 4th of July! I skyped my mom to tell her to have a great day and this was how the conversation went:
Me: Happy 4th of July Mom!!
Mom: Happy 4th to you too Brittni! Do they do anything special in South Africa to celebrate the 4th??
Me: Mom...the 4th of July isn't celebrated here...it's independence day for America...
All of my friends(I remember specifically Ashton and Brinck): Wow...now we see where Brittni gets everythingggg... haha!
July 4th, 2009--Again in Myrtle Beach, Lauren Snyder and I wanted to share who Jesus is with someone on the beach. I've talked to alot of people about jesus but I have never EVER had an experience like this before. There is a woman sitting by herself and we decide to talk to her. This is how it goes:
Us: Hey how are you!?
Woman: WHAT DO YOU WANT?
US: Oh, Sorry no, we are actually with a Christian group and we were just hoping to share with you something we have been learning.
Woman: Oh, ok, I guess..
So anyway, the conversation went on and on and on. But it got weird. We asked her what she thought about sin and she said: "Oh, I KNOWWW what sin is! You don't even wanna know how I sin...Oh boy, you would be in for a treat!" And we were like...oh boy..no no we dont have to hear specifics. But then her husband walked up and it was like a light switch as if they were putting on a show: She went from being what seemed like the roughest hooligan who sinned constantly to an angel!!
Woman: Oh yes, the Lord is so good, and its so great what you girls are doing. You guys need to keep going all over the world talking about this, because we definitely do!
---I can't give justice to this conversation but it was by far a strange experience, I just don't have enough time to tell you all about it.
July 4th, 2010--In a new place, with new people, and new experiences. Went to a new church to try it out, went to lunch with a couple of girls I've just met, and now am at the pool with my family. Later, I will probably head to see some fireworks with some friends (friends that I am just now getting to know). I'm praying that God will continue to grow these friendships, and continue to provide in the ways he knows I need.
Thursday, July 1, 2010
to never be disappointed...
Disappointments. They really are everywhere for me, especially now. Sometimes I'm disappointed in others, sometimes I'm disappointed with situations and other times I'm just disappointed in myself. I want the stability of being content with the gospel, seeing it as the treasure above all other things. But then I find myself wishing I was other places, doing other things. I find myself wishing I was at the Leadership Project with all of my friends, wishing I was a room leader, wishing I had gone on staff with campus outreach. This disappoints me. I want to be content. I want to be joyful always, I want to pray continuously and I want to give thanks in all circumstances. But I don't. At one point in my life I had a huge realization. Whenever I viewed God's will for my life I saw it as a past thing or a future thing; something God had already done in my life or something that I was trusting him to do. But God's will is now. Where I am right now is where he wants me, where he has called me and I know he is screaming to me that he will provide. Provide friends, provide a church, provide community, provide a team, provide comfort. I want someone I can call that can be by my side right away when I need a shoulder to cry on or a friend to laugh with and I know God will place people there, he is already starting to, but it is just very new.
--I'm disappointed that every guy I have met so far is not walking with the Lord. I miss having guy friendships in which I know that they care about me as a sister in Christ and don't have any other motives.
--I'm disappointed that I am scared of being alone in my new house because I've never lived on the first floor before and I have a terrible imagination. I want to claim God's promise over and over: Do not fear, do not fear, do not fear. Why can't I just fully trust the Lord.
--I'm disappointed that more people in the world don't know Jesus and that some of the one's that do don't always want to tell others of the amazing treasure they have and know.
--I'm disappointed that I am not always content where the Lord has me. I want so much for the silly thoughts of being elsewhere to drown in the depths of my knowledge that this is God's will for my life and that he would have it no other way.
--I'm disapponted that I am a sinner, but that I don't always see my sin. I want to see my sin and I want to embrace the joy of the gospel through it.
God is faithful, and he will remain faithful always. He is one thing that can never disappoint me. As I strive to be content in life, I turn to him; I read his promises in his word over and over. I push to know more of the God I know and love and I pray that His Spirit would transform me as I read His word and that I would know more of Him in everything. I want to enjoy God through all of my disappointments. It has allowed me to see that nothing satisfies us except Him. In nothing can we find true joy except in Him. And in everything we may find disappointment but never in Him.
--I'm disappointed that every guy I have met so far is not walking with the Lord. I miss having guy friendships in which I know that they care about me as a sister in Christ and don't have any other motives.
--I'm disappointed that I am scared of being alone in my new house because I've never lived on the first floor before and I have a terrible imagination. I want to claim God's promise over and over: Do not fear, do not fear, do not fear. Why can't I just fully trust the Lord.
--I'm disappointed that more people in the world don't know Jesus and that some of the one's that do don't always want to tell others of the amazing treasure they have and know.
--I'm disappointed that I am not always content where the Lord has me. I want so much for the silly thoughts of being elsewhere to drown in the depths of my knowledge that this is God's will for my life and that he would have it no other way.
--I'm disapponted that I am a sinner, but that I don't always see my sin. I want to see my sin and I want to embrace the joy of the gospel through it.
God is faithful, and he will remain faithful always. He is one thing that can never disappoint me. As I strive to be content in life, I turn to him; I read his promises in his word over and over. I push to know more of the God I know and love and I pray that His Spirit would transform me as I read His word and that I would know more of Him in everything. I want to enjoy God through all of my disappointments. It has allowed me to see that nothing satisfies us except Him. In nothing can we find true joy except in Him. And in everything we may find disappointment but never in Him.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)