mess-ups..they happen...

I did it. Messed up in my new job. It was bound to happen, but I definitely didn't think it would. I took action in something in which I should have asked someone above me first. I went ahead and did it on my own, but had no idea that I shouldn't have done it. Now I know. I'm not gonna say what I did because it's not important; what's important is what I learned and how I know the Lord better through that situation. Some inserts from my journal:

I can always feel it BIG TIME when I am let down by others and when other people disappoint me but I must remember that I am no different than they are. I have the full capability of letting people down and messing up. I am not perfect, nor will I ever be...

But my sorrow is worldly. Today I wasn't upset because I didn't do my best to glorify God, I was upset because I have to own up to my mistake...I'm too worried about what people will think of me rather than having sorrow that I have let down God above all things...

But with all of that said, there is grace. I was given SO much grace in the situation and I am so grateful that although I am imperfect, Jesus sees me as righteous and perfect and he loves me all the more.

And here are some thoughts from someone way wiser than me. I am reading a book called Practice the Presence of God (a GREAT read) and it is the letters and conversations of a monk named Brother Lawrence about enjoying God in all things. Here are some things I learned that related to my situation:

That when he had failed in his duty, he only confessed his fault, saying to God, I shall never change, if You leave me to myself; It is You who must prevent my falling and change my faults. Then he didn't worry about it anymore.

That he had no concern; for, said he, when I fail in my duty, I readily acknowledge it, saying, I am used to doing so: I shall never do otherwise, if I am left to myself. If I don't fail, then I give God thanks, acknowledging that it comes from Him.

These can be related to many different situations but in mine I just remember that I am capable of failing, letting others down because I am a sinner, I'm not perfect. And only God can help me and sanctify me, I shall always fail without God. I pray that I may glorify Him well in ALL that I do, but only with the help of Him am I able to come even close to doing so.